Current mood:

restless

No, I'm not dead. I'd just been using my mother's computer for a while...every once in a while. She's nuts, she's miserable and she's terribly controlling and passive-aggressive. Long story short, I eventually couldn't take it. I just got together the money to buy myself a laptop, though, so I'm back on line!

Not much else has been going on. A little work, a little play. Not as much of either as I'd like, though. It's getting warm and I'm feeling more motivated and more social, but I just can't seem to get plans made. I don't know what's going on, but things feel strange. I guess maybe it's just the spring thaw. Last year I was with John around now, so the weather was pretty much irrelevant and my social life was practically non-existent. I feel like things are more difficult than usual, though.

Maybe I just need to wait for a wave. It seems like a lot of my warm weather craziness tends to come with a new friend or getting close to someone I've known. I feel like I'm trying hard to get things going, but no one's interested or able. Some people are just...I don't even know. I'm getting antsy, though.

My birthday is coming up, and I don't know that I'm doing anything. My birthday is on Monday and I'm doing the tromette thing at a Troma press party on Wednesday, so maybe I'll go to that Underworld party afterwards. The landlord here suggested dinner or something and said he was going to make plans with my mother. I think she's angry at me, though. I hadn't seen her in two or three days until I ran into her in the hall today, and she barely said "hi." I'm not sure what to make of that, because she's usually pretty vocal about being mad. All I can even guess is that she overheard something I'd said about her to someone or something got back to her. I've started discussing her issues with people, which used to worry me because I feared I would sound like a brat. It's not me, though, it's her. I just wonder if she heard something that really got to her. It's bizarre that she would avoid me. I'm not really complaining, though. I just hope I won't need anything from her any time soon...or ever again for that matter.

I just hope I can keep my energy up long enough to get on board with the pick up in general activity that seems to happen in the warmer part of the year. I don't want to get discouraged before I even get a chance to do something with this energy.

And to end on a totally positive note, go get some Temptation peach cobbler flavored soy ice cream. It's amazing.